Velveteen Mind

Hang 'em High: Kindergarten and Jury Duty

Goose is supposed to return to his pre-K Montessori* on Monday but I’m afraid he’s going to have to ditch.  I won’t tell him he’s ditching, though, because that probably sends the wrong message.  Is it even ditching if you didn’t know you were supposed to go?  I’m going with “no, not for 3 year olds.”

*I specifically mention that Goose attends a Montessori school, not because I think it makes us fancy, but because I advocate Montessori education concepts wherever you can get your hands on them.  Including do-it-yourself at home.*

Q begins kindergarten on Wednesday.  Which you already know because I keep sharing that bit of big news and then screaming a little.  I am claiming every day between now and then as a hug-and-kiss fest.  Every day except for part of Monday, that is, because…

I’ve been called for jury duty.

Insert a long bit of silence and imagine me closing my eyes and trying not to march down to the court in order to try to make someone cry and beg forgiveness for selecting my name. 

People, I would sooner give up my right to ever vote again than miss one moment of Q’s first day at real school.  Yes, I realize the magnitude of what I’m saying and what people have given up for the right to vote.  However.  I may loathe that our lives will now be beholden to attendance policies, but I want every second of Q’s experience entering kindergarten to be warm and calm and secure.  I’ll be damned if jury duty is going to screw that up for us.

I still remember my first day of kindergarten.  I was so excited, knowing for weeks what I would be wearing that day, backpack carefully packed well in advance.  Somewhere there is a picture of me in my “first day of school” outfit on our front porch in Southern Illinois, all smiles and hopefulness.

Smiles and hopefulness that would last no more than an hour because I would find myself turned away from school upon arrival due to some gap in my vaccination record.  An event that may very well have colored the rest of my school days and influenced my haphazard approach to attendance policies.  For the rest of my life, I would do the bare minimum that would land me that “A,” although I would still land the “A.”  Apparently there was something wrong with that approach, but I never could get a straight answer as to what the true offense was.  Something about setting a bad example for the kids that couldn’t get the “A” at half-power.  I may have missed the day that they explained “responsibility for others’ behavior.”

Now I’m faced with teaching my children (wow, I can’t say “my boys” anymore) the importance of a strong attendance record and…  I don’t even know what goes hand-in-hand with that. 

I am ill-equipped in this arena already, without the dab-blasted Harrison County court system mucking up my efforts.

For crap’s sake, I just want to focus right now.  All of my primary distractions are behind me and it’s time to hunker down and think about my boys and their new sister.  It’s time to have their backs as they start school again next week and to do it with confidence.  But damn if I am not irate at the idea of being distracted by jury duty.

Jury duty!  What the hell?

I realize that this post has devolved into a moaning bit of nothing.  I recognize that the control-freak side of me has reared her ugly head.  But still.

Ahem.

This is where you tell me how to get out of jury duty and/or make me feel better in general about any number of things I’ve just complained about.  Because?

I am this close to showing up at court in my underwear, muttering “Fry ‘em!” incessantly, and possibly feigning morning sickness all over the plaintiff’s attorney.  Honestly, none of that would be difficult to pull off at this point.

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End of Days

BlogHer is over.  I have plenty to share with you about the conference, but as a mom blogger in attendance, I need to return to the “mom” role for a few days.

Q is starting kindergarten next week.  To say that I am not excited about his entering the never-ending zone that is school attendance policies would be an understatement.  Fortunately, he is over the moon excited, so it’s time for me to soak up every bit of  these last few days and get all of us as prepared as possible…  without my crying or throwing things in the general direction of the school too much.

I’d like to leave this post open as a warm, albeit tattered, welcome to any new readers that decided to check me out after either attending The People’s Party, hearing the generous comments by BlogHer-founder Lisa Stone during the opening breakfast, tolerating my rambling during the “Have You Found Your Mom Blogging Tribe” panel, or marveling at the beach balls I called pregnant-ankles as I toddled around all of the glorious parties.

It was a joy to meet you.  If we have met before, you know it was a joy to see you again and rub my baby belly all over you as I whispered what our daughter’s real name will be into your ear.  Thank you for saying it is beautiful, even if you wanted to scowl.

Finally, an all-encompassing and sincere thank you to Snapfish, who made my trip possible.   Listen, being a speaker and co-hosting a party at BlogHer does not translate to actually being able to afford to attend.  All of the money I had saved during the year for the trip was unexpectedly funneled through my uterus at the last minute and it was Snapfish that ultimately delivered me to Chicago.  Because it was a last minute arrangement, I wasn’t able to offer any swanky swag from them, but they were cool with that.  They actually wanted me to be there and didn’t hand me a box to exploit in return.  Amazing, right?  Particularly given the sponsored swag-o-sphere that developed this year.  But more on that later.

I have a personal relationship with Snapfish.  I wrote about it last year before attending BlogHer in San Francisco, where I would end up spending the day at their headquarters.  I have more to say about it, but we’re all a little brand-weary right now, so just let me repeat that Snapfish was the only insurance policy that paid out after Hurricane Katrina.  I swear by them and won’t delete a single photo from our camera’s memory card until it is safe and secure on Snapfish.com.  Period.  The end.  For real.

{As an illustration of my thanks, Snapfish has provided 7 $35 gift certificates for my snap-happy readers.  Leave a comment, and seven of you will be randomly chosen to see what it is that I’m raving about over there at Snapfish.com.}

Thank you, Snapfish.  Thank you, BlogHer.  Thank you People’s Party co-hosts and co-hosts past, not to mention party sponsors that didn’t cry when we opened the doors and a wall of people warmed the room. 

Thank you…  you.  Above all, thank you.

People get a little crazy after BlogHer.  I mentioned during my panel that a lot of blogs fold after the conference.  People didn’t believe me, thought I was saying it for effect, but it’s already happening.  I’ll write about that after 1900 more kisses on the faces of my boys before school starts.  Because this post-BlogHer drama doesn’t touch me.  Largely because of exactly what I said in my last tweet yesterday:

That tweet was retweeted so many times I lost count.  All prefaced with “Yes!” or “Me too!” or “Amen!”  Because when you get it, you don’t sweat it.  And I do thank you.  For a fabulous weekend, for taking the time to say hi or say hi back, and for reading this damn blog.  It’s pretty simple.  Thank you.

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All About the People

Downtown Chicago.  My second day here and I have yet to have a slice of famous Chicago pizza.  Something is very wrong with this picture.

Fortunately, all of that is going to change around 7pm tonight when pizza is delivered to the swag-bag stuffing team preparing for the onslaught of grabby hands and shakin’ booties at The People’s Party!  BlogHer may start tomorrow, but the party starts tonight at 8pm in the Sheraton Chicago X ballroom.

July is one long month.  Both for those of us that attend the BlogHer blogging conference and for those that do not attend but endure all of the pre-BlogHer chatter.  All around, it’s safe to say that by the end of the weekend, we’re all tired of even thinking about blogging.

In fact, that’s exactly how I got in trouble last year.  After throwing The People’s Party and experiencing a long day of meet-and-greets and sessions, I dragged myself to the elevator for some brief escape in my room.  I could hardly see straight, let alone think straight, which is generally bad news for first impressions.  Unfortunately, my self-preservation wasn’t quick enough:

As I approached the elevator, a beautiful blonde was waiting with what appeared to be her husband.  As I had plastered all sides of myself with stickers that said “Velveteen Mind” (so as to make it exceedingly easy to recognize me and therefore encourage people to say hi), the woman noticed who I was and said, “Oh, are you Velveteen Mind?”  She smiled as though she recognized me, which was lovely, however all I could think about was how tired we all were.  Therefore, my response to a woman who was obviously a fellow BlogHer attendee was a faux covering of my stickers with my hands and an eye-rolling, “Yes!  And man, aren’t you exhausted?  I just want to pretend like I’m not even a blogger at this point and go to bed.”

It was meant as commiserating with a fellow attendee over a wonderfully packed weekend, but it came out as, well, snotty.  Like I didn’t want to be recognized.  Oy.

She responded in turn with a throwing up of her hands a la “oh, well don’t let me bother you, Miss Fancy Pants” and started to turn away.  Politely, but still turn away.  Total disaster.  Which I tried to clarify, but not before another blogger joined us and apparently immediately recognized the blonde.

That is, recognized the blonde as Lisa Stone, co-founder of BlogHer.

Yeah.

Needless to say, there really was no salvaging that first impression, regardless of who she was, and that’s how it goes at BlogHer.  You have the exhilarating experience of meeting people you read and the inevitable faux pas slips of meeting people you read but don’t necessarily recognize.

So you just roll with it.  That’s BlogHer.  You roll.

Particularly because most of those little slips you make?  No one even notices. 

Tonight is The People’s Party and it’s all about rolling with it.  From 8:30pm-11pm, we create an environment for you to mix and mingle, dance and drink, and frankly do little else.  We’re the warm-up act to the big event and you are all welcome to come warm your keyboard-weary hands around the glow that is one crazy happy festival of crazy happiness, as Kirtsy referred to us.

We can’t wait to see you tonight!  And if you are home?  Know that we missed you!

Now then…  Let’s Go Crazy!

 

Party already over?  Then how’d you like it?!  Spill!

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