I am a reader. Yes, you know that, but I don't just read books-- I voraciously adore books.
I love the weight of books in my hands, the texture of the paper, the quality of the production materials, the thoughtful cover design. The way a hardback sounds when you lay it on a table with a decisive thump, the way a paperback gives to your impatience, the way the typeface sets the tone, the way the layout paces your reading.
A good book is a physical guide through the literary realm of the story.
So you can imagine my sense of defeat when I bought the audio version of Twilight.
When I decided to go to BlissDom in Nashville, it took very little consideration before I chose driving over flying. Yes, flying would be fast and convenient and virtually the same price as driving... but planes are far too fast.
I wanted a nice long drive. Miles of road stretched out before me and my cute little wagon. Hours to just think.
But something inside me said it wanted to spend hours thinking about vampires. Yes, vampires. I was just as surprised as you.
After sniffing out the growing interest around the book within my own Twitter community, I was ready to finally give in to my curiosity.
Perhaps it was the thought of a couple of days with a large group of women, hyper-analyzing minute details and stirring up frenzied discussions about virtual passions that put me in the mood to delve into the world of romantic fantasy during my drive.
The fact that it was teenage romantic fantasy would make it only all the more appropriate. Squealing and the like, if you will. However, I didn't realize it was about teenage vampires until I went to buy the audiobook.
I felt decidedly hip as I went to our local bookstore, thinking I was on the hunt for the au courant goth novel, probably only known to those in-the-know. I give those I follow on Twitter much credit, as it happens.
I breezed up to the audio section at the front of the store and was almost pleasantly surprised that Twilight wasn't there. Clearly, this was a book popular only with my ultra-hip Twitter community, not even to be found in the current audiobook selection.
Tossing my hair over my shoulder and smiling to myself that I was just as edgy as I expected, I strode up to the help desk, pushed aside the piles of gift cards emblazoned with a pair of pale hands holding a blood red apple (vaguely familiar... is that the new logo for the holidays here this year? sort of bizarre but argh! focus!) and asked the woman behind the counter if they had an audio copy of a book called "Twilight but I have no idea the name of the author."
She smiled patiently at me and then literally blushed. In the next moment, she switched gears and plunged forward whole-heartedly, her kohl-smudged eyes widening a bit as she began (good Lord!) gushing...
"Oh my God I love those books! It's Stephenie Meyer. Stephenie Meyer, she's the author. You haven't read them? They are amazing. I'm obsessed. Obsessed. You won't be able to look back. Are they for you? They are for you? Oh I'm so jealous of you reading them for the first time. Oh, Edward. Just wait. Edward!"
"Ah... Right, wait, the audiobook? I'm sure we have it. You looked in teen audio?"
My jaw had dropped open slightly somewhere between her now-clearly-emo eyes spotting an opportunity to talk about the Twilight saga and the second "obsessed." And, good grief, did she say "teen" audio?
No, I hadn't checked in teen audio.
Evidently, I was on the tail end of a trampled trend, not the black-dyed tips of it.
Right next to the words "Now a Major Motion Picture."
Did I say "trampled" trend? I meant trampled into sticky spilled Coke and popcorn trend.
But wait, it gets better, because...
I was about to find myself holding my own conquered, blood-red heart in my hands at the feet of said Edward.
Because, yeah, he's one of those characters.
Le sigh, indeed.
...to be continued...
Hell, Amazon has a whole Twilight store... Which I would like for Christmas, thanks.