Velveteen Mind

Praise Jebus!

Good grief.  When I go down, I go down hard.  Didja think I was dead?  You did, huh?

That little bit of food poisoning seemed to magically manifest itself in every single member of my family by the end of the week, so you can imagine how far I was from being able to post or even look at the computer for a while there.  That, combined with Maguire starting a new job, and, well, it was a miracle that I remembered to breathe. 

This is what I looked like:

Not pretty.  (by the way, that is the absolute most photoshopping-ish skillz my program is capable of...  pathetic, I know.)

Fortunately, we are all on the upswing and I am rarin' to go!  I have so much to catch up on, but I'm ready for it.  Lots to tell ya'll about, lots to share, lots to do.  Once again, I'll be Squatting here myself on Saturday, as I figured a guest blogger would be sort of silly when I am finally able to post again.  Just fun stuff this weekend and Maguire has given the me the "all's clear" to play online all I want, so I may actually be able to make a dent in my online to-do list.

Let's see...  what all have I missed?  I totally had a video planned for the Great Breast Fest via the League of Maternal Justice, but that plan got pooped on.  I had a bunch of stuff to tell ya'll about regarding TopBlogMag, but then my brain melted.  Ooh, and Cre8Buzz finally launched publicly, but I think I slept through it.  Ugh.  I'll get to it all, I'll get to it all.

By the way, if you've emailed me in the last couple of weeks, I promise, I'll get back to you.  I'm working on all of it this weekend.  Hang in there. 

Before I go back to reorganizing my life, I want to share one little bit of news with you, though:

This week, Maguire was sworn in as a member of the Mississippi Bar Association!  He is a real live MS lawyer, ya'll!  Look at how excited we all were after the ceremony:

It has been an incredibly long road, much longer than we ever expected, but it has all been worth it. 

Okay, I'm not entirely sure, yet, exactly how it's all been worth it, but I'm sure I will feel like there was a damn good reason for this insane roller coaster sometime in the future.  Like when I'm thinking back on these last two years from my grand veranda on my gorgeous mansion overlooking some majestic live oaks and sipping a Mint Julep made by my private staff.

I'm so ready for that.  Now, where's my "Congratulations!  You are the wife of a lawyer!" check?

In the meantime, here is how we feel right now:

Praise Jebus!  Rock on!  Hallelujah!  Amen!

Thar She Blows! No to Squatting, Yes to Delurking.

If you are looking for the Saturday Squatter for today, she's not here.

I forgot about Saturday Squatters this week because I've spent the last 24+ hours squatting in front of the toilet.

Food poisoning.  It blows. 

Literally.

Saturday Squatters will be back next week and may very well begin to pick up every Saturday, instead of every other.  Want to Squat with the Thread-Bear?  Just drop me a note and tell me you are ready to pop a squat.  ;)  If you've already sent me a note about it, hang in there because I'm about to send out some dates for you.  About time, right?  Yeah yeah.

************

Speaking of dropping me a note, I'm watching all of you lurkers out there and your time has come. 

I get comments every now and then from readers that say something along the lines of, "I've always wanted to leave a comment but I didn't know what to say..."  Why not use this down time to sneak in your first comment here or there on some of my older posts?   Pop that cherry on the weekend when no one is looking...  except me.

I  love it when you de-lurk.
 

After my wretched food poisoning experience during which my body became one giant release valve, I sure could use some friendly hellos from some cute strangers.  And I know you are cute because I've seen your little faces peeking in on MyBlogLog and BlogCatalog.  It's time you let me get a good look at ya!

Oh, and I realize that The Great Mofo Delurk was on October 3, but I just saw it on moms are for everyone! and I don't adhere to foolish blogging rules!...  either that or I am usually too behind to meet deadlines, but whatever.  It still works.

Now delurk, mofo! 

Mom, Look at My Face: Relearning how to play.

I have forgotten how to play.  Really play.  With my kids.

I am sort of like a toddler participating in parallel play.  I can sort of play near my kids, alongside my kids, but when it comes to fully throwing myself into a game with them, I soon realize that my mind has begun to wander.   

Then I hear this from Pants:

"Mom.  Look at my face."

This well-worn phrase means, "I've been either talking to you or trying to get your attention and you've been staring off into space.  I'll only trust that you are listening if I can see it in your eyes.  Now look at me."

If the walls of my home office could talk, their first words would be, "Mom, look at my face."  That phrase has been uttered in this room far too often.

Ashamed of myself?  Yeah, that would be an understatement.

When I was little, my brother and I could inhabit imaginary worlds of play like no other kids on the block.  Our ability to suspend disbelief was unparalleled.  I was a queen.  He was a cave-dwelling monster.   I believed I needed to be rescued from the evil forest elves and he believed the need to deliver as the hero was urgent.  We slayed dragons and built empires.  We ruled.

That little girl who wore the magic pendant stolen from the evil witch is still in me somewhere.  The pirate princess that is me wants to come out, I just know it.

But how do I snap myself out of my world of deadlines and responsibilites and back into their's?

So many things are in the process of changing around our house, in the land of adults.  Good things.  Great things.  Things we have wanted for quite a long time.  But, as such,  I am consistently distracted.  There is always something I should be doing.  Something I have promised to deliver on for someone.  Somewhere else I should be.

My life is an endless to-do list right now. 

And yet, the only place that I need to be that matters is right here.  Right now.  With these two little boys.  This is all I've ever wanted.  And I feel like I'm missing it.

I can hear the voice of Elastigirl from The Incredibles, saying to Mr. Incredible:

"This, our family, is what is happening right now, Bob.  And you are missing this."

I hear you, Elastigirl.  So before my own little Dash and Jack-Jack grow up and no longer want to defeat Syndrome with me by their side, I had better get my act together.

Get my game face on.

I can still do all that I want to do and be the mom I want to be for my Incredible family.  I can be a Super.   I just need to relearn how.

I am Elastigirl.