Less Than Zero
We ran out of money yesterday.
Just plumb ran out.
I know my husband won't like me writing about this, but I also know how much comfort I find in reading about the non-June Cleaver-esque lives of so many other moms online. I know that shining light on the reality of today's family is a healthy thing, albeit painful.
So, yeah, we ran out of money. Ever happen to you?
We usually keep enough cash in our checking account to cover two months' bills, then another three months' worth holed up in an online savings account that is none too easy to access. In addition to that, I have our checking account backed up with an overdraft plan that bleeds over to a credit card, just in case.
We'll see just how effectively that overdraft plan works now, won't we? Man, I want to be sick.
How did this happen? It's actually quite simple.
We had a handful of unusual expenses this month, including paying to have the interior of our house painted. Usually, I do that kind of thing myself, but I've never tried it with two toddlers hanging off of the ladder beneath me, so I only made it as far as the bedrooms and one bathroom before I had to hire professional help. That professional help asked to be paid before the job was finished (I know, I know) and when he went to cash the check yesterday, the bank wouldn't honor it.
Because there was no money in the account. Less than no money.
What the?
I checked our account online and was surprised to see that two automatic deposits that should have posted had failed to post. What would have cushioned our account with a reasonable amount of money had failed to appear, leaving us caught having cut it far too close this month.
And that is the point. Not that two deposits didn't show up, but that I let us get into a situation where two deposits not showing up could leave us in the red. Literally. There is red color glaring at me from my account balance page.
Good grief.
So I now find myself spending my weekend readjusting our budget and reassessing our financial lives. Hunting down all of our latte factors and fighting every tendency to reconsider our choice for me to be a stay-at-home mom, although sometimes I think I do qualify as a work-at-home mom.
Sacrifices are to be made. The altar is being readied. I am just doing my best to keep myself from donning the virginal white dress and being the sacrifice.
The irony is that this pinch actually feels good.
With cash in our wallets for everyday expenses having been replaced by a debit card, 
I think we lose sight of how much money we are spending day in and day out. For a while now, I have been considering creating "cash envelopes" designated for specific weekly expenses, like my husband's work lunches or my all-too-frequent stops at Sonic for a Diet Coke with cranberry juice. Or, even more effective, an envelope of a very specific amount of cash to take to the grocery store.
I can't even imagine going to the grocery store with a strict budget in mind. Perhaps arriving at the checkout and not being able to pay for that extra box of cereal bars would open my eyes.
Therefore, I sort of welcome wake-up calls such as this. Yes, it is painful. It is absolutely embarrassing. But we have made it through much worse than this and we will learn from it. I insist on that.
But, in the meantime, this so sucks. I am dreading opening up all of my budget files and analyzing where our money has been going. I am fearful of the almost-certain realization that we are spending too much. I hate admitting when I've made a mistake. Yeah, I'm that girl.
And I've made a mistake.
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I Am a Have but I Happen to Have Not
Hierarchy of Suffering. Who wins?
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