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You see that blue gummy bear? The one passed out on the floor?
That's me after the last couple of weeks.
What do I have to show for the pass-out-worthy work I've been doing? Aaaaah, something mighty tasty, ya'll...
Head right over and let us know what you think!
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Two weekends ago, we fulfilled every man's dream at our house: We cleaned out our garage. Our lives will never be the same.
Okay, that might be a slight exaggeration, but not by much. When we moved into this house, we did it very quickly, more or less just bringing into the house the essentials and stacking the rest in the garage to unpack at a later date.
For instance, maybe next year.
Fortunately for us, my dad knows me better than I know myself, so he called us up and said that the garage was getting cleaned come hell or high water, so get on our wading boots. No one can focus with half of their life piled up on the other side of the wall.
I agreed to this Mississippi-heat-endurance-test because he also mentioned the two most beautiful words in the English language: pressure washer.
Aaaah, he would be bringing over his pressure washer, which meant I could blow the old-lady stink in the garage to high heaven and enjoy the endless satisfaction of blasting years of ground-in muck off of our driveway, one slice of the water wand at a time.
Five paragraphs later, I have now told you that we cleaned out our garage. Look, when you bring gas-powered water blasters into the picture, my prose gets a little flowery, so bear with me.
An unexpected result of cleaning out our garage, other than eliminating the constant noise in the back of my mind, was that we started spending more time outside. Much more time. As a family.
It started when the boys realized that they could ride their bikes on their own again, alternating the heat of the driveway and the cool of the garage. This clearly meant I would benefit from two exhausted boys ready to crash at naptime, so I grabbed the book I am currently reading, an Adirondack chair from the yard, a glass of ice cold Coke with crushed ice (dear God, I love having an ice maker again), and set up a little space of my own in our blindingly clean garage so that I could keep an eye on the boys.
Because no matter how many times you say, 
"Do not drive beyond the car in the driveway, boys!" all they hear is, "Feel free to ride your bikes in the street because you are magic and no cars will splatter you on the road."
This is how I want our summer to be: all of us outside, sweating, enjoying the fruits of our labor, me reading books, enjoying our sons beat the tar out of each other, and my scaring the daylights out of them with threats of Blood on the Highway.
I'm trying to raise men here. As far as I can tell, that begins by raising boys. 
Boys who play outside, dig in the dirt, climb trees, hit balls over fences, destroy the grass with sprinkler-produced mud puddles, and fight off the mosquitoes until the light has finally failed for the day. Boys who get cuts and scrapes and bruises, but are too busy playing to report them to their mother, let alone whine over them.
The book I am reading right now is Boys Should Be Boys by Meg Meeker, MD. 
This will, quite frankly, be the theme of our summer. Walking away from anything that requires electricity and embracing everything that eventually requires bandages.
I want to raise men. Real men. True men. Strong men. It starts now. It starts in this garage, extends to the make-shift ball diamond in our backyard, drifts to the creek full of crawfish behind our house, and hopefully takes root in the core of our sons.
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Come to find out, Father's Day is tomorrow. As in this Sunday. As in, "When did that happen?"
Need last minute ideas? I have a great one for you and it is free! Did you catch that last part? It's FREE!
The best part is that it will also give ole dad exactly what every man really wants: an ego stroke, a shot of pride, and a little coveted spotlight attention!
Sprout, one of the awesome sponsors of The People's Party (a pre-BlogHer party I am co-hosting along with some much hipper bloggers), is celebrating dads this weekend with a special Father's Day event taking place on The Sprout Sharing Show being broadcast LIVE from 3pm - 6pm ET on Saturday, June 14 and Sunday, June 15.
This is your chance to make Dad feel famous! You know, just like you. ;)
Children, with help from an adult, can submit a Father's Day greeting to their dad, grandfather, uncle, or male dad-like person and have it appear live during the show. Viewers can also call-in during the live show and share their wishes and fun stories about dad by calling 877-242-DADS.
To submit a text greeting or find out more visit:
http://www.sproutonline.com/sprout/stunt/fathersday.aspx
If you don't have Sprout, you can call 866-9-SPROUT to request it. Which is what I'll be doing just as soon as I sign up for cable again.
Seriously, I want to be on TV. So you know your husband wants to be, too! Make it happen with Sprout!
<This ends my desperate attempt to make up for the fact that I could have sworn that Father's Day was later this month... or maybe in the winter? Happy Father's Day, Maguire! If we had Sprout, you would so be on TV, along with pictures of your massive muscles and hot mug!>
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What may appear as blog paralysis to you is actually a great mind at work behind the scenes.
No? Not buying it?
Okay, so I know I haven't posted in something like a million years, but I have been blogging, in general terms. I have been teaching myself how to make blog graphics so that I could finish designing the Editors page of Blog Nosh Magazine and I am almost done. Almost done!!!
Wonder why I am so excited? For one, teaching myself how to design buttons and graphics and blawg sturf like that is not easy. But most importantly, the editors I have lined up are utterly awesome and I've been working hard to do right by them before we launch.
Even a quick browse through the editors and each of their channels will tell you that we have a diverse group, although still heavily female. Must work on that. Men? Manish boys? Dads who are really just kids? We need you.
Click through to the editors' blogs, take advantage of the handy "Subscribe" buttons, and be sure to check back at the end of the day when the remainder of the editors should be included.
Seriously, Blog Nosh Magazine will only work if you support the blogs that are featured there. That includes the editors. I pay them in exposure for their blogs... so technically, that makes you the bank.
So click! Read! Subscribe! And absolutely tell me how you think we are doing so far. I am making this up as I go along and I'm doing it for you, so speak up! Tell me what you want to see and we'll do our best to deliver.
Launch date is hopefully next week. Now go nosh!!!
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***MOO Shipping Update:
Ordering from MOO? Please note they use the British date stamp of day/month/year. So if ship date is 11/6/08, that's actually June 11th!***
***Edited to add note at bottom for those not attending BlogHer but still want to promote their blog***
Did I forget to mention that I didn't go to BlogHer last year? Hm. Did I also forget to point out that I only started blogging last year, then took a month off, then took another four months off?
All total, I think I've been blogging for 10 days.
So, yeah, I am a newbie. Hear me roar.
This is where you picture me doing that coy clawing motion with my hands. You know, like a cat. A big cat. With no pants. Rawr.
With that in mind, I'm going to throw a little more newbie fuel to The People's Party fire. Because, seriously, being new to blogging is no excuse to not go to BlogHer this year. I barely even have a blog if you add up all of the breaks I take.
The best thing we newbies can do to be prepared for the BlogHer conference this year is to, well, be prepared. So I'm going to help you...
The most frequent element I see people forget when attending their first blogging conference? Blogging business cards!
You are asking, "Is she serious? This isn't a business for me." Yes, I am serious, and fine, don't call them business cards then. Call them social cards. Call them calling cards. Call them pimping cards. Just get you some cards!
After every conference, people come back and say that they were totally caught off guard by everyone asking for their card. People meet you, they want to remember you, but they can barely remember all of their own URLs, so they need a visual reminder to take home. But you? You got nothing.
These totally unprepared bloggers get home, scramble onto twitter and ask, "What is the best place for blog cards?"
I already know the answer to this. And because you are my people, I contacted that place and asked them to hook a sister up. They responded that, no, they wouldn't send me 1,876 coupons for unlimited free cards, but they did offer me (and therefore, you) some kick ass discounts. I present to you, my recommendation for the best place to get blog business cards for BlogHer or any convention:
Their slogan?
We're a printing company where every one is different.
Is that not perfect for us? Yes, it is.
From their About page:
MOO is a printing company. We print beautiful products, using images you've uploaded directly, or designs from our designer galleries.
MOO cards are different from your average business cards. They are smaller in size and, obviously, much more flexible in their design approach. Which means that they stand out from the crowd.
The product I am primarily recommending to you is the MOO MiniCards - $19.99 for 100 unique photo cards.
And if you aren't sold after looking at their website, just Google "MOO cards" and hit the "images" tab. Ideas a-plenty, people.
I ordered MOO cards for my eBay store last year to use as tags for the bonuses I include in every order. They were such a huge hit, along with custom stickers I made on MOO, that I don't think I'll ever consider another company.
The biggest complaint I've heard about MOO? Their mini-cards don't fit regular card holders. 
Aah, they were listening and now they sell mini-card holders!
That little hole at the end? For your keychain. Perfect.
Whatever you need to get prepared to promote yourself at BlogHer (or really, anywhere offline, which you should be doing), they have you covered. And stylishly so.
And because they love bloggers and I love you (this is the longest, most flattering post just to get to this part), they are offering discounts to both new and return customers so that we can spread the love at BlogHer!
Exclusively from MOO.com through Velveteen Mind, Blog Nosh Magazine, and my eBay & eCommerce channel of Sparkplugging, here are your discount codes:
1) moo48Q
2) moo8BE
- 10% off entire order for existing customers
- valid until end of June
Keep in mind that these codes are only valid through the end of June and you will want to order early because MOO is one of them there foreign companies (they are based in London, England), which means that it will take 5-10 business days for them to be delivered, in addition to the printing time table.
Have questions about how quickly you can get them? They have answers.
I can't wait to see what designs you come up with! In fact, I'll be taking a photo of all of the MOO cards I receive at BlogHer and linking to every single person that hands me one, so get ordering with your discount ASAP!
(By the way, MOO is not a sponsor of The People's Party. I just asked them if they would offer us a discount and they said yes. Awesome, right?)
***Another edit: If MOO is giving you a wonky ship date, please note that it is laid out in the British date system, which is day/month/year. They assure me that our orders will ship very quickly after they are placed. But still, order now.***
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Finally, MOO isn't the only site that wants you to have a fabulous time at BlogHer. Before you run off to order your MOO cards, it is my pleasure to introduce you to our two newest sponsors of The People's Party:
skimbaco.com is an upscale children's boutique, 
selling everything from clothes to room decor for your beautimous children. skimbaco's superior sense of style was recently featured on Oprah when Tom Cruise raved about how his daughter Suri's favorite shoes are a pair of Ladybugs from skimbaco!
Clearly, you should shop at skimbaco.com!
Finally, a site we all know and adore is stomping back onto the map: Mommybloggers.com!
From their About page:
The goal of our site, Mommybloggers.com, is to expose the diversity of the writers who commonly fall under the label "mommyblogger". This site is set up to be an inclusive experience for our readers, both for parents and non-parents alike... Mommybloggers are making a real difference in this world.
Needless to say, we love them and would love for you to click through and read what they have to offer. Looking for a new site to feature your writing? They may be just the place for you to stretch your voice.
That is, right after you buy some Ladybug shoes and order your MOO cards.
As usual, you have a busy day ahead of you. ;)
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Edited to add:
Not going to BlogHer but still want to promote your blog?
Mail your MOO cards (or any cards) to me and we will put them out on a table at The People's Party for everyone to snag.
Seriously.
eMail me for my mailing address. We will be more than happy to do this for you.
But you need to be a real person. No spammy PR folks allowed.
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