I am a list person. This comes as no surprise, I'm sure. I have lists strewn all over my house, on my desk, on my refrigerator, on my office walls, even taped to my office door. Lots of lists crammed into my purse. I have short-term to-do lists and long-term goal lists. I have hierarchies of lists.
Theoretically, you should feel good about crossing things off of your lists. I wouldn't know, as I don't so much cross off as I do shuffle. Things get "sort of" done, therefore "sort of" crossed off.
Needless to say, I have a serious "you are going to debtors prison/ real jail/ the hospital/ hell if you don't do these things" list, too. One of those lists written in Sharpie taped to the door so you can't miss it. I should probably tape it to my computer monitor, truth be told.
Currently at the top of that list is "pack up Thomas the Train poison toys." I've mentioned this one before. Yeah, uh, they're still on the kitchen counter. But, hey, at least they are out of the boys' mouths hands. Our vast collection of Diego and Dora stuff, though, well, I think our stuff is from before the recall... Good lord, what does lead poisoning look like exactly?
In a half-assed attempt to address my need to remove all things toxic-lead-drenched in our house, I decided to take a closer look at our Melissa & Doug toys yesterday. Almost all made in China, almost all red painted wood. I mean, does it never end? I'm trying to be a cool mom here with lots of retro wooden toys and it has totally bitten me in the ass. Instead of raising a little Einstein, it looks like I'm growing little Tommy Boy's instead. "Did you eat a lot of paint chips when you were a kid?"
Being the pseudo-diligent mom that I am, I called Melissa & Doug yesterday to ask them just how quickly I could expect my children to keel over dead and I thought I would share their answer with you, as I can only imagine how many Melissa & Doug toys are spread out among you all.
Finally, some good news: According to the effervescent young woman who took my call, Melissa & Doug check their products both at the factory during manufacturing and also once they arrive in the US. According to the Melissa & Doug rep, they can assure their customers that all Melissa & Doug products are 100% lead free. Read: safe for your toddler to suck on and chew at all day long.
Okay, they probably don't recommend the oral fixation activities, but you get the point.
I am officially a Melissa & Doug fanatic.
So there you have it, your Velveteen Mind Public Service Announcement for the week. Why these people aren't shouting to the hilltops that they aren't trying to kill our children is beyond me, but I'm happy to do it for them because it means that I'm only half-assed trying to kill mine.
I love Chris Farley, but seven years of college is a bit more than I'm up for at this rate.
