Velveteen Mind

Not-so-Hostile Takeover of TopBlogMag Begins

I just referred to myself as He-Man over on TopBlogMag.  Why, you ask?  Because...

I have the power!

Except it's not by the power of Grayskull, but rather by the power of Heather from Running in Wellies, TopBlogMag's founder and amazing former editor...

That's right, folks, I'm the new owner and editor of TopBlogMag.  Lock, stock, and two smoking barrels.

Scary, isn't it? 

And because I can never leave well enough alone, I have a lot of changes in mind.  Heather has done a wonderful job, but I just can't help myself.  Must tweak.  This week's issue is definitely one of transition, as I am putting out the call for a little brainstorming action.  Come over and lend me some of your brainpower, won't you? 

TopBlogMag is a magazine written by you.  Now it's time for it to be a magazine designed by you, as well.  From the content to the site design.  In fact, I'll let you be He-Man.  You can have the sword and everything.

I always wanted to be She-Ra, anyway.

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What are you waiting for?  Come on over to TopBlogMag, take a good look before I start wrecking the place, and don't forget to play around with the poll I've posted.  This is a great chance to tell Heather that she'll be missed, though try not to mention that you think she's a crazy lady for handing over the reigns to me.

 

Indignation and Defiance. A Bad Ass and a Donkey Butt.

During the week, I usually try to stick to non-meta blogging stuff and avoid too many memes and awards.  You know, just ride my high horse.  ;)  However, I've been having a little fun with my blog lately (as opposed to the pure torture it usually is?), posting my 100 Things milestone post and ranting about Bill Maher being a big flabby boob.  I've been using words like "dildo" and "masturbation" and not thinking a thing about it.  This is my home, right?  I can not shave my legs or clean under the fridge all I want.  Right?  I'll certainly clean up if I'm expecting company, but until then, let's just relax.

I forgot that I invited some company over. 

Said company poked their head in, saw the mess up in this joint, and left me a smug note on the door to let me know that they were here and did not approve of what they had seen.  In fact, they told me that the "quality" of my work was not up to par with the rest of their "resyndication network" and I could keep my "Satan detectors in the loony bin" talk to myself.  Thanks for playing.  Buh-bye now.

Oh haaaaeeeelllll no.  I know they di'nt!

Okay, they didn't actually say all that, but they did say something about "quality" and it wasn't that I was rocking it.  Granted, it was a form letter for their rejections, but still.  Apparently, I had submitted my blog to them for resyndication and forgot about it.  My name came up last week, they stopped by to check me out and see if Velveteen Mind was suitable for their network, and they found a bunch of off-color posts.  Oops.

I probably never stood a chance.  I failed to notice that they prefer posts that are "100-450 words in length."  Yeah, I might want to hang that one up.

Nevertheless.  I was denied.  Shut down.  Rejected.  Ouch.  But then...

Last time I checked, I don't write for the satisfaction of ass hats.  Nor for their approval.

All ass hats are now welcome to show yourselves out.  This is my house, mofos, and I won't be denied or rejected in my own house.  Okay, apparently I will, but I won't sweat it.  Okay, I will sweat it, but I won't internalize it.  Ya ass hat.

Now let's play some more.

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Remember a while back when I talked about being surprised at receiving the Nice Matters Award from Nell at meanwhile..., then again by Poot and Cubby, and finally by temporarily me?  I relayed the following conversation:

When I first saw it, this is what I told Nell:

Hey! Thank you! I am rarely called "nice." Too much attitude creates a force field around me that sort of makes that adjective just bump right off. I'm glad someone thinks I can be nice!

Nell's response, which I am totally holding her to:

I do think you're nice. But not in that goody two shoes way, more of a bad ass kind of nice. Maybe that's what the button should say...

Aaaawwww yeah.  She made the button.

Please tell me that doesn't rock?  I am Bad Ass Nice. 

Seriously, though, Nell is the Bad Ass Nice one.  Did you read her Saturday Squatters guest post?  The girl is a kick ass writer.  Love her.  So, Nell, I am officially bestowing my Bad Ass Nice button right back atcha!  You are one Bad Ass Nice blogger and I hope you display this button proudly.

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I also received another cool award a while back from Jenny at Absolutely Bananas.  She has mad Photoshopping Skillz, too, and pulled the following award out of her butt...  Her Donkey Butt, apparently.

An award "for blogs that rock your world.  Hard."   I loves me some Absolutely Bananas, so this was a real treat.

My world is currently being rocked by a blogger that I just recently found.  Total mom crush.  Total blog crush.  Total crush happening here at Velveteen Mind on moms are for everyone!

First of all, if I could look like Emery Jo for just one day, I think I would be happy.  Then her son's name is Ezra, which reminds me of our old neighbor in New Orleans who used to play in a band called Better than Ezra, so warm fuzzy feelings there.   Her husband looks like someone I would have dated, so yeah, more crushing.  Her blog looks like something I wish I had.  More crushing.  And her writing is not short but is sweet, in a sweeeeet! kind of way.   You know I love long blog posts.  Oh, and I can't forget that she has an eBay store featuring vintage clothing.  Ya'll, we are BFF already.   She just doesn't know it, yet.

She's also a singer-songwriter.  But I just found her, so I can't tell you if she sucks or not.  ;)  I'm betting not.

Emery Jo, you rock my world.  Hard.  Your blog kicks donkey butt.

Isn't it fun finding a new crush?  I found mine on cre8buzz, by the way, along with a couple of others, one of which I plan to write about this weekend, so stay tuned.  Cre8buzz is about to go live, too, so ya'll let me know if any of you want an invitation.  I'll be writing about it more next week, but I am absolutely loving it so far.

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Until then, that's a wrap on my party for today.  Continue raising hell in the comments.  Tell me about some of your new crushes.  Don't be shy...  do you have a crush on me?  Have you been lurking but afraid to come out?  Come on, tell me...  I'm a good kisser blogger, you'll be glad you did...

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*I reserve the right to pull these awards back out of my blog bling arsenal at any time I damn well please and pass them on to bloggers I want to recognize.  I still haven't given my nominations for my Thinking Blogger Award from a million years ago.  Ooh, and still have an awesome new Rocking Blogger button to pass around.  If there are some kind of crazy rules attached to these awards, you'll just have to deal.   Man, I better get crackin'.  And who has an "I (heart) Your Blog" award, because I so want one of those.

Because I Am Made of Time, Energy, and Focus... Just Like You

My first post at the new eBay channel at eMoms at Home began with the admission that Goose had just eaten a piece of pink chalk while I was launching an eBay listing.  As the revamped eMoms at Home was on the cusp of launching, I sat here pondering how to announce my channel, eBay Selling for eParents.  While I delved into the recesses of my velveteen mind, my divided attention was drawn to Goose once again...  and his purple mouth. 

While he and Pants were drawing with markers (non-toxic washable markers, thank the Lord for some good sense around here), Goose decided that his looked good enough to eat.  So he bit off the entire tip and apparently sucked out some of the ink.  You've heard of "Pinch the Tail, Suck the Head"* for crawfish?  Mah son is a good ole' Southern boy through and through, because if it's good for crawfish, it's bound to be great for art supplies.

And with that illustration of my multi-tasking prowess, I proudly invite you to join me over at my new eMoms at Home blog:

eBay Selling for eParents

As a new featured author on Wendy Piersall's redesigned eMoms at Home site, my goal is for the eBay Channel to give stay-at-home parents interested in selling on eBay the one thing I believe has been missing:  a personally voiced, down-to-earth, relatable resource for ending your hesitation and finally launching the one business-in-your-pajamas venture you have always wanted to try.

Stop by and say hey!  Check out my new digs.  Velveteen Mind will always be my home, but now I have a place for all of my eBay stories about wacky customers and the gajillions of dollars I have pouring in that I thought would just clutter up the nice, neat, humble environment I've created here...  :P  I crack myself up.

Oh, and for any of you who dare ask me again, "Wherever do you find the time?," allow me to add this final note:  While finishing this post, good ole Goose ate the tip off of a green marker.  We're going for a diaper full of Mardi Gras colors today.  All we're missing is gold and I don't even want to think where we might find that one.

That's right, I won't slow down until Child Protective Services has my number on speed dial. 

God, I love these kids.  And the fact that they are awesome and alive, despite the fact that I have no less than two blogs and an eBay store should be testament to the authority with which I will be writing eBay Selling for eParents.  If I can do it, believe me, so can you.

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*The last time I mentioned "Pinch the Tail, Suck the Head," I linked to Dew on the Kudzu and their excellent description of the proper way to eat crawfish.  As it happened, the awesome Idgie over there later featured my post Camille was a Lady.  Katrina was a Bitch in his online magazine of all things deliciously Southern.  Thanks, Idgie!  Ya'll check it out...  after you check out eBay Selling for eParents, though.  ;)