Velveteen Mind

An Experiment and Proposal on Hope

Did you know that you can burn snack chips as kindling if you need to start a fire and can't find any twigs or brush? You can and I can tell you that Ruffles Sour Cream & Cheddar make the best choice, as they have the longest burning and most consistent flame.

You know, just in case you are on your way to a Super Bowl party and get trapped in a blizzard.

I know this because this was the experiment Quinn, my nine year old, chose for his science fair project this year.

Like many of you, we knew about the science fair project for a long time but put it off. On the eve of the deadline to submit a project idea, I heard him standing in the kitchen with his dad, poking around for inspiration for a project.

"What about burning nuts?" he said, while popping a peanut in his mouth.

Before he could finish the thought, I jumped up from the couch in the living room and announced, "You can use Doritos as fire kindling! You should totally burn chips and see which one is the best." 

Quinn loved the idea and immediately starting jotting down materials and his proposed process. When it came time to fill out the project proposal, I ran the "stuck in a blizzard on the way to a Super Bowl party" storyline by him, suggesting that a hook would capture the reviewer's imagination, but to no avail. 

"This is science, Mom. Not storytelling. This isn't what you do."

Well.

A box on the form asked if he wanted to enter his science project in the actual science fair or just do it for the class grade. Quinn didn't hesitate when he checked the box for just the class grade. When asked, he said he had absolutely no interest in entering the science fair, in part because this was his first science project.

Jump to a few weeks later. It's the day the science project is due. With glue still drying, I drop him off at school and wish him luck, knowing he'll ace it because he checked and double-checked the grading rubric and completed all requirements.

By the time I pulled into our driveway less than a mile from the elementary school, I had the following text from Quinn's teacher:

"Are you sure Quinn doesn't want to enter his project into the science fair? It is so cool! I asked him if he wanted to because I thought it was awesome and he said yeah. Is that okay with you?"

Well, hell.

Perpetual Stillness Machine

The first rule of the Internet Hiatus is:  You do not talk about your Internet Hiatus. Definitely not during your Internet Hiatus.

I've been offline, more or less, since mid-November. I didn't announce that I was going offline, I just went. The end.

I did not feather my hiatus nest with a hashtag, inviting others to join in so we could all share tips online about how great we're doing staying offline. A hiatus is healthy, you should take one, too, and frequently, but it sort of messes up my hiatus when I'm busy monitoring questions about yours.

Or checking your social media updates on how your Internet Hiatus is going.

You are doing your Internet Hiatus wrong, by the way.

(I'm kidding. Do whatever you want. I'm not even watching. See aforementioned: Internet Hiatus.)

The view from my studio window as I write.

Nearly two months was enough, though. Time to resume my erratic publishing schedule and haphazard social media updates. Thanks to my consistently inconsistent approach to online availability, I doubt you even noticed I was gone. 

Hawking Writing Habits

How much of writing is muscle memory?

I sat down at the desk in my office yesterday and just... sat. I haven't worked in here for a while.

May was incredibly busy with travel, unusually stressful personal goings-on, and end of school. I ran through May with a tightened chest and my head down like a quarterback trying to break through, um, a bunch of other football players. Look, I don't know sports, but I kept my heart tucked under my arm and I plowed through a wall of offensive obstacles. With my head down. You know, football.

What I was not was head-down in writing. My writing was done in fits and spurts at the loud family computer in the even louder family room or on a glitchy laptop with a screen that keeps falling backward on the couch and keys that won't catch despite the fact that I type like I'm mad at the letters.

All the while, my office became the catch-all for life's detritus. Stress made physical in the form of piles and stacks. Everything I couldn't face moved into my office.

Including my own words.

So I put on figurative horse-blinders yesterday and sat at my desk in my office. I'm working on not needing everything to be perfect before I can write, so the blinders were necessary. Just sit. At the desk. No pressure. Just sit and look at the computer. Maybe blind type on the keys into nowhere. Jot some abstract words into my notebook and underline my favorites. 

I ended up watching Hulu.

20 minutes in and I felt like writing. Hey now! My body remembered what it was supposed to do at this desk and the ideas followed.

While researching a bit for a piece I'm writing for Babble (one of half a dozen pieces I've written a few lovely paragraphs for and then abandoned during the terribly May), I came across a Reddit AMA that Ethan Hawke did this week. AMA is an "ask me anything" in which Reddit users ask the OP (original poster) questions and they answer. Fairly self-explanatory, but click the link and it will become obvious.

All-around solid AMA, this quote made me scroll back and re-read:

"Write every day. Not every other day. Not tomorrow. Not after the party. But before. The more you write, the more comes out of you. If you don't give inspiration an opportunity, it will never arrive."

Write every day. It is the most repeated advice we hear. I've honestly stopped hearing it and I give that advice. I even give detailed life-hack consultation on how to actually pull it off, not just want to pull it off. Because I know how difficult making yourself write every day is. It is painful. It feels impossibly insurmountable.

You know how they say that psychologists shouldn't treat their own family, let alone themselves? That. Writers, writing advice, me, that.

It's damn good advice. I hate that advice.

I write far more than I publish on Velveteen Mind. That said, almost every brilliant opportunity I've secured has materialized because of this blog. This is my home base. No matter how much changes, this platform remains.

This is my springboard, as ever a platform should be. When I land in untested waters and decide I'd rather not stay, I return here. When I find new loves elsewhere, I keep the fire burning here. Smoldering. Let's say smoldering.

Hawke's statement pleading "If you don't give inspiration an opportunity, it will never arrive." is the line that made me stop and re-read. It took a moment for it to sink in, so I found myself halfway down the page when I stopped and returned to it.

I give myself far too many rules here. I know that.

• "Don't post twice in one week if you haven't posted in a month before that." 
• "Don't post less than five paragraphs if you haven't published anything recently." 
• "Don't post a photo on Velveteen Mind's Rummage Blog if there's nothing new on Velveteen Mind." 
• "Don't just jump into a random story if no one has heard from you recently. Sweet Valley High** it!" 

Crap rules that effectively leave me no room to do anything ever amen. Good job.

I frequently write about the writing process and, specifically, my writing process here. I am a champion of the transparent struggle. I let you see me trying and I, more often than not, let you see me abandon the plan and wander off again.

No one reads blogs during the summer. Sounds like a great time to write, don't you think? Abaondon some of those rules? Just sit down and sit and sit and see what happens. Nope, don't get up, yet. Sit. 

In the meantime, let's talk about your own writing process. What is your biggest struggle? Do you saddle yourself with arbitrary rules like I do?

• • •

*Hawking refers to this comment in the Ethan Hawke AMA, though works on a couple of levels so yay for double entendres

** "Sweet Valley High it" is my personal shorthand for catching the audience up before you start a new story.

photos via www.istockphoto.com and linked through awesome affiliate links because nickels

 

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