During labor, there is a small window of time in which a woman can receive an epidural to alleviate her pain. Once you have progressed beyond that window, however, an epidural is no longer an option. Regardless of how much pain you are in or how sure you are that you won't be able to push that baby out without some kind of supernatural medical help, the last call at the Epidural Bar occurs somewhere around 6 cm or so...
I contend that the window should reopen shortly after the new mother is forced to leave against her will discharged from the hospital. Say, around 3 weeks postpartum.
In other words, I'll take an epidural now, thank you. Straight up.
This mama is exhausted.
Nearly one month ago, our daughter was born. Olive is beautiful and serene, watchful and bossy. We adore her. I am awake 20+ hours each day with her (and no, that doesn't mean she sleeps 4 hours straight each night. har har.), so I feel I am well-qualified to say that she is fabulous and worth every second of effort that bringing her into this world took.
As expected, Olive's labor went incredibly well, though not entirely to plan. Any little girl worth her spice would certainly see to spoiling her mother's plans right out of the gate.
Without further ado, Olive's birth story...
One week of contractions. One week! After one week of contractions every ten minutes, all of which I had to be mindful of thanks to a sketchy combination of a positive Group B Strep result paired with a history of rapid labors that would not allow for enough time for antibiotics to treat the GBS, I was more than ready for active labor to begin. My "get thee to the hospital" cue was the first sign of pain or contractions five minutes apart, with or without pain.
3 a.m. on Monday, October 19, and we get that cue.
As I detailed in my birth plan, my goal was to have as natural a birth as possible. Armed with Lamaze birth techniques, I felt confident that I could attempt a medication-free delivery, if not a medication-free start to labor. I’m not very natural-living-minded in the rest of my life, but when it comes to my babies, I try to go as hard-core as I can manage. I feel it offsets my dependence on nachos and Diet Coke quite nicely.
Once admitted and sure that we would be leaving with a baby girl that day, we started the antibiotic IV drip to treat the GBS and then decided to take it slow until my OB arrived for an otherwise-scheduled C-section. My primary goal was to avoid using Pitocin to induce labor for as long as possible. Since my labor had begun naturally, though not progressing as rapidly as my first two births, it looked like it would be used to augment labor, at most.
I used the time before my OB arrived to get to know the Labor and Delivery staff at Memorial Hospital. I fell particularly in love with a nurse named Hazel. A Lamaze instructor for 14 years, she understood my concerns and goals and assured me that she had no problem expressing any dissenting opinions in front of my doctor if I asked. Although she didn’t see the harm in using Pitocin, she knew I wanted to put it off for as long as possible and try everything else first.
Hazel would prove to be a key contributor to my confidence throughout Olive’s birth, due in large part to my knowing what questions to ask of her and feeling comfortable “conspiring” with her. I respected her and, in turn, she made me feel as though she simultaneously respected my goals and the doctor’s opinion. I can’t stress enough the power of feeling you can trust your support team, even if you’ve just met them.
Pssst, Memorial, this is where you give Hazel a raise.
Approximately an hour of on-and-off negotiations followed the arrival of my OB, resulting in a compromise: We would hold off on the Pitocin but I would allow him to break my water. If I didn’t progress on my own from there, he would start a Pitocin drip at a low level and then back off if it looked like I could take it from there. Deal.
Right after my OB broke my water, this is me tweeting to you:
subscribers click through for video
{I’d like to point out at this point that I was severely swollen the last few weeks of my pregnancy and usually have an identifiable chin. Thank you.}
Directly after that video, I hopped out of bed and proceeded to walk. And walk. And rock. And sway. And then walk some more. Unfortunately, by the time my OB checked again, I hadn’t progressed enough and we were nearing the end of my antibiotic run.
At that point, I agreed to accept a low-level Pitocin drip. Could I have refused both breaking my water and the Pitocin? Absolutely. But people, after a week of frustrating contractions and more time spent in a Labor/ Delivery suite than with both my first two births combined, I was growing impatient and excited to see my daughter. So I gave. Plain and simple.
As it turns out, Pitocin works to augment contractions. Huh.
subscribers click through for video
That video was me on Pitocin set on Level 4. I made Hazel assure me that she was following my OB’s instruction for setting it on a low level, but was surprised at how quickly it kicked in. The breathing you see me doing in the video is Lamaze appropriate for me during the first phase of labor. Basically deep, controlled breathing. Enough to give me focus and not complain a bunch. The rocking? Just wait. I’ll about rock myself off the bed soon enough.
Later, Hazel returned and I noticed her fiddling with the Pitocin drip. She turned to walk away and I saw that she had increased the drip to an 8. My reaction was a full on “Oh no you di’int!” and then haranguing her about promising to keep it on a low level. Her response? “Girl, it’s on an 8… out of 199!” Yeah, I thought it was out of a 10.
Love you, Hazel.
subscribers click through for video
I was in roughly phase 2 of labor during that last video. Just enough pain to get a little, um, snippy with my husband about his coaching. During that more active labor, I am still breathing in a relatively controlled manner, but I need random breath counts called out to keep me distracted from the pain and focused on the breathing. In short, your coach calls out a random number between 1 and 5, you breath out that number and then exhale a cleansing breath to indicate you are ready for the next number. It sounds deceptively simple, but it is just complicated enough during contractions to distract you from pain, which further helps you to relax between contractions because you haven’t worn yourself out and worked yourself up.
The trick is random. If I can tell that you are relying on a pattern, well, it gets ugly:
subscribers click through for video
Well. Hm. Love you, Maguire.
Finally, we get to the truly active labor of phase 3. During this phase, contractions are right on top of each other and the Lamaze breathing technique of calling random breath counts is the only thing holding me together. My breathing is fierce and fast but focused. Lamaze kept me from flailing off the bed in search of an epidural, though I’m pretty sure I was outside of that “epidural window” at this point. This is where I silently begin making promises to God and setting little “just make it through x” goals for myself. As in, “If I’m at a 6 when they check me next, I’ll stay. If not, I’m out of here.” Really rational stuff.
subscribers click through for video
That was my last contraction before we prepared for me to begin pushing. Ah, the beauty of the phase known as Transition. Ouch. Once again, I’d like to point out the importance of trusting your support team and getting to know your nurses, if possible. This is also where I continue my love affair with Hazel:
Directly after that last contraction, I called Hazel to come check me for progress again. Not only had Hazel been the only nurse to check me throughout labor, creating a comforting sense of consistency, but she paid attention to what I was telling her, not just what she was seeing for herself. She knew that I went fast once I reached a certain point in labor and kept my OB apprised of my progress. At lunch, Hazel came in to let me know that she had kept my OB updated enough that he had chosen to come to the hospital during his lunch break and take a nap in the lounge. Just in case.
The feeling of reassurance that provided was outstanding, particularly given the fact that Goose was delivered by some wet dude in scrubs that was pulled out of the showers at the last possible second.
After the contraction in the video above, Hazel came in to check me and brought my OB with her… fully decked out in scrubs and ready to deliver my baby girl. Although I was only 7 cm dilated, they felt they could stretch me to 10 cm, as they saw I was ready to push. No kidding. I was going to start pushing one way or another.
Unlike Q, who took 4 or 5 pushes and was right there when I started pushing, and Goose, who took one push and was more or less on his way to our house on his own by the time I started pushing, Olive was still very high when I felt the urge to push. It was as though I had to access a whole new set of muscles in order to identify where she was. As a result, my usual near-silent delivery became something of a riot house event. Lots of belligerent hooting and hollering, let me tell you.
Girls. I swear.
But. How sweet.
subscribers click through for video
No, Olive’s delivery didn’t go quite as planned (that’s her real name you hear us calling her-- Olive is her online name), but it was delicious and I was proud that I was able to do it as naturally as possible. Yes, it hurt like hell. No, they weren’t handing out awards for delivering babies without pain medication. But for me, it was perfect. I was able to feel every moment of her delivery in a very different and much more specific way than I expected. It was beyond my expectations.
She is beyond our expectations.
I’d like to take one last opportunity to thank the featured sponsor of Velveteen Mind this month, Lamaze International. I would have used the Lamaze birth method whether they had reached out to me or not, but working with them made the experience that much more enjoyable and enhanced my confidence immeasurably.
You don’t have to plan for a natural delivery in order to use Lamaze. You don’t have to try out the breathing techniques you see me use in these videos. Lamaze doesn’t have to be an all or nothing approach, which is fabulous in this age of increasingly common interventions. No, not all doctors and nursing staffs are as accommodating and not everyone has access to midwives or doulas. Therefore, I recommend that you simply check out the Lamaze International materials online and seek out a birthing class through your hospital or birthing center. There is so much to gain from the Lamaze birth approach as a whole that you are sure to find even one small aspect that will help you.
Additionally, as evidenced by my story, your support team and birthing facility can make all the difference. We love Memorial Hospital, but choosing it took research. Lamaze International offers a birth survey to help aid mothers in finding the right birth environments and caregivers for them, which I encourage you to check out.
The bottom line for me is the importance of confidence. Confidence in my body and in my own ability to deliver my baby in the most healthy manner possible is what made my experience beautiful. Yes, it hurt, but I was not afraid of the pain. I understood what the pain meant because I could identify what was causing it. My confidence and self-awareness was the result of education. Education in the form of the Lamaze birth class I took when I had Q, the birth books I read when I had Goose, and the refresher training I had with Lamaze for Olive.
I was able to let go of my fear and just be.
And now? Now I be tired. ;) Which brings me back to my theory that although I passed on an epidural during labor, I genuinely believe it is only fair that one be made available to me now. Because whew. Sleep deprivation is used as torture for a reason.
Don't miss an update! Sign up for free delivery of new posts from Velveteen Mind via email (recommended) or feed reader.
Follow me on Twitter! or 
Subscribe to the free audioblog podcast of Velveteen Mind on 
Writer. Mother.
