This explains so much.

Since I'm pissing away time today and not doing the things I'm supposed to be doing, I thought I'd play around with some of those lame little blog widget things you see here and there.  I played with an anagram one the other day and found out that my name spells out "Major and grumpy hen."  No kidding?  Here's more colossal wastes of time:

I particularly like their reasoning behind my rating: 

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:    

* pain (4x)    * ass (2x)    * torture (1x)

Pain Ass Torture sounds like an interesting blog post to me.  I'll have to get right on that.

Then this one was just freaky:

Your Summer Anthem is Behind These Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson

"Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes" Your summer will be marked by heartache - but mostly happiness.

What's Your 2005 Summer Anthem?

The summer of 2005 was when we moved to Long Beach and, well, you know the rest.

I'm not sure what to make of this one:

You've Experienced 64% of Life

You have all of the life experience that most adults will ever get. And unless you're already in your 40s, you're probably wise beyond your years.

How Much Life Experience Do You Have?

I hope that doesn't mean I've experienced 64% of my life?  I'm only 30.  That can't be good.

Well, at least I know why I'll only be experiencing 64% of my life: 

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"I can pass this guy."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Seriously, I'm a better driver than that.  I can totally pass that guy.

Uh oh.  Bad news for Maguire:

You Are 39% Ready for Marriage

You will be ready for marriage someday - just not any day soon! You still have a lot of dating to do before your find a relationship that works for you.

Are You Ready for Marriage?

Maybe I should have taken this quiz earlier?  God, I hope there's no "Are you ready for kids?" quiz.

Hmmm, this could explain that marriage question...

Your Inner Gender is Male

You are rational, matter of fact, and quite dominant. You like to get things done, without any emotional messiness. You truly don't understand most women. And you definitely feel more comfortable around men. No doubt about it. You're a guy - at least on the inside.

What's Your Inner Gender?

Good grief.  I need a drink.

You Are Rum

You're the life of the party, and a total flirt You are also pretty picky about what you drink Only the finest labels and best mixed cocktails will do Except if you're dieting - then it's Diet Coke and Bicardi all the way

What Alcoholic Drink Are You?

Well, if I'm going to be drinking rum...

Your Pirate Name Is...

Dirty Ian the Infected

What's Your Pirate Name?

Aargh!  Where's me rum and me antibiotics?!