Velveteen Mind

Cynical vs Critical: Does Your Star Crumble or Shine?

Other people's opinions matter to me. Far more than they should. 

I need to knock that off. It bothers me to no end.

What If?

Stardust is one of my favorite movies. I once saw Neil Gaiman in an interview share how he came up with the idea for Stardust and it endeared me to the book and, by extension, the movie forever.

From the book description:

Young Tristan Thorn will do anything to win the cold heart of beautiful Victoria—even fetch her the star they watch fall from the night sky. But to do so, he must enter the unexplored lands on the other side of the ancient wall that gives their tiny village its name. Beyond that old stone wall, Tristan learns, lies Faerie—where nothing, not even a fallen star, is what he imagined.

The DVD extras include that interview with Gaiman where he tells of traveling in Ireland and noticing a gap in an old stone wall. He asked himself the question that starts the best of everything, "What if?" What if a fairy world existed in the woods beyond that wall? What if you slipped through the break and entered it?

Years later, he watched a falling star and asked, "What if that star landed in the fairy world beyond the wall? What if it became a woman on the other side?" I'm paraphrasing all of those questions.

Stardust is one of my favorite movies and books. It's one of my favorite answers to, "What if?"

But a lot of people think the movie is lame. Where I tear up, they roll their eyes. It's a simple matter of opinion but I am convinced my opinion is right.

Can an opinion be right?

My gut says, "Absolutely, those people are blind! Why can't they see how awesome/ bad/ perfect/ pandering/ right this is?!" My brain says, "Opinions are opinions. They aren't right or wrong."

I also liked the movie Signs. And, for that matter, The Village, if we are going to show all our cards here. Quite a few more people would say I am wrong. But I'm willing to go along with it. I want to see where we'll land.

Fairy Worlds

Disney is a firestarter of opinions. I adore Walt Disney World, specifically. You can't imagine. I am entirely and fully able to suspend disbelief and inhabit the lands as a child. I leave my worries at the gate and it works for me. It is escapism at its best and I adore it. Adore.

Other people see a sucking hole of consumerism. They see people sweating under costumes and inside huge, stifling heads of a mouse.

The People's Party at BlogHer 2013 Chicago: You're Invited!

You are invited to the 7th Annual People's Party at BlogHer!

Are you attending the BlogHer conference in Chicago?

The People's Party is an open-invitation opening party designed with you in mind.
You. The people. Our people.

You are invited! You are always invited.

Thursday, July 25
10pm-midnight
Chi Bar in the Sheraton lobby 

The co-hosts of The People's Party designed this event seven years ago as a night-before-BlogHer ice breaker open to everyone. We were hearing grumblings and fretting over private parties and found it abhorrent. Why would you want to attend something that didn't include your friends? So we rebelled.

I'm the only co-host that can make it to BlogHer this year and we're going to miss Motherbumper,  IzzyMom,  Oh, the Joys!, and The Bloggess. That means I really really need you to come out and celebrate with me! Let's make this year awesome!

Viva la People!

Seven years later, there are still lots of private parties and, as the BlogHer conference has grown to over 5,000 women writers, the exclusivity of those private parties has become more divisive. So much noise about who was invited, who wasn't, and what kind of free stuff you can hoard. We eliminated swag bags years ago. It was attracting the wrong crowd.

This party is about relaxing the night before with old friends and new friends alike. We are for the tribed and the tribe-less. We are for newcomers and old-timers.

Though our old-timers are less about shaking their gnarled bloggy sticks at the kids in the yard and more about swinging on the porch swing and telling stories about the days before Twitter. ;)

What if it's my first time?

 The first time I hosted The People's Party (way back in San Francisco), it was my first time to attend a blog conference. Ever. I saw no reason not to throw a party. If it's your first time, come find me. You can do this. 

What if it's not what it used to be?

BlogHer has gotten really big. No, it's not what it used to be. BlogHer has grown into a conference of over 5,000 women writers. While we welcome the opportunities that come with such growth, we also long for a little cozy nostalgia.

The People's Party is smaller this year. Rather than a prime time slot in a ballroom, we're kicking back from 10pm til midnight at the Chi Bar in the lobby at the Sheraton. Sure, BlogHer evolves with each passing year, so we gear down the night before with friends at The People's Party, readying ourselves to gear up for the events to come! 

 

How do you keep from getting overwhelmed?

I make BlogHer what I want it to be and it works every time:

• Attend sessions: Experienced bloggers still have a lot to learn. I design my agenda around sessions that either I can learn from for myself or at which I want to see what new bloggers are being taught.
• Attend official events: I turn down all private party invites that conflict with the official schedule because that's not where the people I want to meet are. I go to BlogHer for BlogHer. 
  • Be mindful: I refuse to go to something that my friends aren't invited to, as well. All of them. Good luck with that, private parties. Nothing stinks more than a friend asking, "Where are you headed next?" and seeing their face when you mention a party from which they are excluded. 
• Take breaks: I am an introvert and become completely overwhelmed from being "on" too long. So I take breaks at a coffee shop or in my room, take a stroll around the hotel, or even just take some deep breaths in the lounge outside the ladies' room.
• Pace yourself: Walking through the crowds can be overwhelming, so I imagine a little bubble around myself. All I have to worry about is what comes inside that bubble. Everyone is welcome in that bubble, by the way, but it only fits maybe 20 people at a time vs 5,000 people.
• Introduce yourself: I don't expect anyone to know who I am. 90% of the people that attend the People's Party have no idea that I host it. I kind of love that. I introduce myself all day long and always return home with new friends.
  • Be mindful: At a recent conference, someone noted that I don't spend a lot of time with my friends. Nope, I don't even like being photographed with them too much. No one likes seeing the same three girls together in Instagrams at every event. Last year I introduced myself to someone with a friendly face and ended up spending the entire night with her. It was her first BlogHer and I was able to see it through her eyes. It was awesome.
• Don't let small friend groups get you down: That said, I do hang out with my old friends. There are absolutely groups of friends at BlogHer. So many of us wait all year to see each other, so don't let a close-knit circle make you feel excluded. They are just excited to see each other. If they are smart, they'll branch out. If they aren't, you didn't need those friends.
• Stay positive: Without being outright flippant, I try not to entertain any venting conversations. Everyone's experience is their own. Frustration can be contagious, so if someone is fussing, slip away and continue having a good time. It's cool to have a good time, even if the cool kids seem to suggest otherwise. (psst... those aren't the cool kids. grouches never are.)

Why even go to conferences? 

I follow more people on Pinterest than follow me. That's not always the case, but whenever the medium lends to it, I follow and follow to bursting. I fill my feeds with color and wonder.

Conferences are full of color and wonder. My version of social media is not about you noticing me, it's about me noticing you. I crave new faces and perspectives and BlogHer is wonderful for that. 

But you have to at least attempt to embrace the full experience. If you go to a conference and don't attend sessions (because you know everything? heard it all?) and only attend private parties (because you are so fancy? because who cares if your friends are left out?) and put a lot of energy into complaining, then I bet it does suck. I don't know why you go. 

Go to conferences to grow. Go to conferences to learn. Go to conferences. Almost everything good in my writing life has grown from an interaction I initiated at a conference.

Tell me again, who is invited?

The People's Party is open to everyone with a BlogHer conference or Expo/ Party pass. If that's you, then you are invited. Always.

Will I see you there?

Share this invitation with your friends! Have questions? I have answers so comment away!

 

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Wimbledon 2013 and the Story of Our Summer

This post is sponsored by Disney Story. To find out more about this brand-new story-creation app – and how it puts the power of storytelling in your hands - click here.

Psst... This story is sponsored and it's still my story. Y'all know how I do. Keep reading. You'll like it. 

 • • •

We breathe in great heaping gulps of summer. As a mom, I count the days until summer vacation and then greedily horde each one, a warning hand perpetually held up against August and the return of school.

I don't over-plan every day of summer for our family, but I do build in touchstones. Sun-bleached mile-markers to run our fingers over as we wander the overgrown paths of our laziness.

Wimbledon is our favorite mile-marker.

At the beach house in 2012 - look at how little Iris was!

We take a brief family vacation every summer specifically to celebrate Breakfast at Wimbledon.

Waking up the Sunday after the 4th of July, we roll out of bed before the final two men of the iconic tennis championship take the court.

As thousands of fans savor strawberries and cream on the grass lawn of the All England Lawn Tennis Club, we pile strawberries on paper plates and bury them under mounds of whipped cream.

It's our family tradition. One created for Quinn for his first Wimbledon. One we love so much and means so much to us, as a family.

Maybe someday we'll make it all the way to England. Until then, we are content to travel a few short hours to the Eastern Shore of Mobile Bay in Alabama, either Fairhope or Point Clear.

For the last two years, we have rented an unreal beach house in Point Clear (where Forrest Gump was written) called The Family Tree. With plenty of room for our family of five, the true delight of the property is a huge old live oak in the backyard, shading the private beach and hanging over the bay itself. 

A refuge. To be sure. 

And sometimes? A refuge from the anxiety of Wimbledon itself. Because, man, this year's championship was nerve-wracking! As you'll see in the video shared in my Disney Story below, Andy Murray drove us straight out to the boat house while we waited for him to get his act together on that court. 

click through if the Story isn't showing 

That's the fun of it. Throwing ourselves so completely into the experience, as a family. The experience of Wimbledon but, more, the experience of a summer so thoroughly embraced.

We are sand-covered. We are sun-weary. We are full of popsicles and ready for more. We are together.

When we finally returned home, I noticed Quinn following me around the house. Aimlessly. He is almost nine and keeps to himself whenever he can. If I could physically gather up the moments he sheds like water, I would. I already miss him, the baby in him.

After a week at the beach house, a week together, greeting the sun and checking the crab traps, talking about why I love reading on the porch so much and what kind of ice cream we want to try tonight, he wasn't ready to let me go once we got home.

I will this summer into brilliant existence. I ensure we have memories to pin in our mind. I capture each flash of childhood as a firefly in a jar.

I am our family storyteller. I was born to do this for us.

Tradition matters. It anchors us and guides us. Even just as weathered mile-stones on the overgrown path as we race by to tomorrow.

PS- Quinn isn't in more of the photos because he, too, decided to go "pants-less" and I'm not allowed to use those photos.

More about Disney Story: 

Download the Disney Story app from iTunes  – for FREE – right here!
Disney Story Twitter
Disney Story Facebook

• • •

Related reading:

The story behind our Wimbledon family tradion
My first Disney Story about the awesome place the kids learned how to swim 

 

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