For the last two years or so, I have allowed myself to openly want very few things. I haven't dared hope for much more than what is vital.
I hoped for Goose to be a healthy birth.
I wanted Maguire to pass the BAR.
That, my friends, is pretty much it.
More than two years of devastating disappointments made me create a fairly thick skin, warted with skepticism and cautiousness.
Tonight I have a red, raw spot on my calloused hide: I want us to get this house. I am hoping that we will get this mortgage.
I am praying for this home.
As I sit here tonight, I have dotted all of my i's and crossed all of my t's. There is nothing left to do but wait. It is officially out of my hands. And it is killing me.
So... I have been shopping.
All of this stress is making it difficult for me to concentrate on anything. At all. I can't seem to focus on the present, let alone even a day or two in our future, so my mind has been wandering to the past. Specifically, to the 1980's of my childhood.
As it turns out, I would give approximately $40.
Look what I won on eBay!
I have spent hours this weekend browsing these little plastic clip charms on eBay. It isn't helpful that the venue in which I make my money is also my favorite place to spend it. Distractions, distractions everywhere! Every hour or so, I find myself thinking, "Ooh, maybe more charms have been listed by slacker kids of the 80's trying to earn money for Christmas by selling out their childhood treasures!"
How many of you had these charm necklaces when you were little? They were an obsession! Along with stickers and designer pencils, I was just a little collection freak. My eyes were always peeled for a new puffy or sparkly sticker (ooh, a sparkly puffy sticker!) or a new pencil with some fantastical eraser or charm hanging off the end.
But, oh, these charms. You couldn't have enough.
I don't even want to try to remember what these things used to cost , because they are currently running me approximately $1 each. And, as with all of my little obsessions, I'll end up buying way more than I could ever use and then turn around and have to sell it on eBay myself.
Of course, I'll make it look utterly hip in my own listings and possibly spin out a profit in the end, in which case...
Long live the nostalgic obsessions of the hopelessly distracted hopeful homeless! Mamma needs a brand new refrigerator!