Velveteen Mind

There is No Winky

“The scientist said it is a girl.  The doctor said it is a boy.  But I’m telling you, there is no winky.”

So said Q, our 4 year old.

And so shall it be…

The scientist was right!

It’s a girl!

Note how it says “still a girl” in the ultrasound.  That’s because we hammered the owner of the ultrasound location in New Orleans until we were absolutely positive that it is, indeed, a girl.  I have quite a few pictures like the one above. 

And no, ya’ll were no help in keeping me patient until my scheduled ultrasound in July.  But the speculation was awfully fun!

As it turned out, our baby daughter was apparently done with all of that speculation because when we peeked in on her that day?  She had her feet almost behind her head in a stunning “All Girls!  All the time!” move worthy of Bourbon street. 

Stunning, indeed.  We have a girl!

A girl with a sense of humor, as she seemed to be mocking our shocked expressions:

Oh. Mah. Gah.  It’s a girl! 

We can’t wait to meet you after all, baby girl.  Your big brothers are already picking out matching princess dresses and knights’ armor.  And yes, everyone gets a sword!

So… where is my etsy password because I have some dresses to buy!

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"In the Bubble" at Walt Disney World

They call it being “in the bubble.”  As a guest at Walt Disney World resorts, you are “in the bubble” from the moment you step into the line for your Magical Express ride from the airport to your resort, through the landscaping on the property, to the smell of the dungeons of the Pirates of the Caribbean, right on to the moment you step back onto your plane to make your way home.

It’s those special touches.  The “We’ve got it covered” approach that meets you at every turn.  The extra dose of magic that finds its way into everything from the towels to the soap to the carpet in the hallways. 

It’s the Mickey.

Yikes, that’s a scary still frame after a long day.  The video above was shot in my room at the Walt Disney World Beach Club Resort.  By the way, that “towel” was actually a blanket.

Thank my lucky stars, I was fortunate enough to have spent the weekend at Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida, as part of the Spring Mom Blogger Mixer.  Well, thank my lucky stars whose names happen to be Maria Bailey from BSM Media and the Social Media department of Walt Disney World. 

For my having been singled out as a mom blogger, well, some pixie dust must have been involved.

I haven’t been to Disney World since I was 12, having grown up going to either Epcot or the Magic Kingdom every year prior as part of our annual trip to St. Pete’s Beach.  Back then, Disney was a one day trip, where you chose one park or the other to tear through before heading back to your own hotel hours away.

My, how things have changed.

The resort culture that exists at Walt Disney World today is extraordinary.  As a mom of pre-school age children, it is now the only way to do Disney, in my opinion.  The benefits of spending your Disney vacation “in the bubble” (or on Disney property, from the resorts to the parks) for the duration of your stay, are immeasurable.

Our group was referred to as the “Magical Moms.”  If that means that we were magically transformed into 9 year olds, then the term is spot on.  Even the model-esque Lindsay Ferrier of Suburban Turmoil was reduced to a wide-eyed awe-struck babe.  I assure you, it is difficult to be intimidated by even the most “successful” bloggers when they become a puddle of emotion and sparkles in the face of the world that Walt built.

The video above was shot during the Reflections of Earth presentation in Epcot’s World Showcase Lagoon.  The mom bloggers you see are Lindsay from Suburban Turmoil, Beth (the one with the camera) from I Should Be Folding Laundry, Andrea from Mommy Snacks, and Emily from Mommin’ It Up.

There is so much more to tell you about the trip, not the least important of which being how I think I’m finally getting used to the idea of this new baby, but it’s time for us all to pop back out of the bubble until the next post. 

More videos, more stories about the other bloggers (some of whom I know you’ll love, if you don’t already), and much more about the Disney experience to come.

Most of all, I want to share with you what I learned.  You know full well that I don’t generally write reviews.  But this was different, and for that reason, I ask that you bear with me and trust me.  This trip to Disney changed the way I think of my family and my role as their mother. 

For all of the fun times that I miss from being in my twenties, nothing compares to the joy that family life brings.  Since this was a business trip, our families had to stay behind (understandably so, as we were completely booked).  Let me tell you, I had to hold back tears for the whole first hour I was in the Magic Kingdom because I missed them so thoroughly.  I was jealous of every mother that watched wonder spread across the face of her child as they stood in front of Cinderella’s castle.  I sort of wanted to kick every dad that propped his son on his shoulders as they headed toward the Jungle Cruise. 

Because I wanted to share the experience with my kids. 

My life is nothing without my family.  And the magic of Disney only highlighted that for me this weekend.  For that, Mickey, I thank you. 

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Mom Writers Literary Magazine Takes on a New Cover Editor and oh! The Fun Begins.

At the height of my morning sickness, I wasn’t checking my email or logging onto the computer at all for days at a time, and then only to check our bank balance.  When I would check my email, there would be several messages along the lines of, “Where is your article?” and “How far along in your cover feature are you?” and “You are killing us.  We go to print in two days.”

I would crawl away from the toilet long enough to reply, “Yep, almost done.  It’s smashing.  You’ll love it.  Just polishing it up.”  After which I would crawl back to the toilet and gaze at my reflection which was staring back and asking, “Really?  This is how you are going to play it?  Because last time I checked you hadn’t even read your notes since the interview.”

Toilet Water Megan is snarky and impatient.  She takes no crap.  Er, well, hmmmm.

To be fair, I am a master procrastinator, yes.  But I had lost so much energy and so many brain cells that I literally started crying one day because I couldn’t remember if salutations should include a comma before the name.  I wrote “Hey, Paula,” and “Hey Paula,” dozens of times before I finally gave up.  My brain was gone, replaced by pregnant mush capable only of calculating the time and distance to the bathroom from any given point in the house.

Our story ends brilliantly well, fortunately, as I managed to deliver my very first cover feature for Mom Writers Literary Magazine without a hitch.  This may be the first my publisher and editors have heard of my deceptions, in fact.  Rest assured, however, that I more or less write the exact same content regardless of whether it is delivered early or at deadline. 

This way was much more exciting though, right?  …I’m going with “Right.”

All of this is to proudly announce that I have accepted the position of Cover Editor at Mom Writers Literary Magazine.  My job is to write the cover feature each issue, which is pretty much exactly what I would have begged to do anyway.  Published quarterly, it is an engaging mix of interviews, essays, and poetry by mom writers. 

They gave me plenty of room to stretch my legs on my first feature, too.  Incredibly good news because my first interview was with Asha Dornfest of ParentHacks.com and I am just as long-winded on the phone as I am on this blog.  But who wouldn’t be when discussing the nitty gritty of blogging with someone as fascinating as Asha?  I even let Asha talk a little.

Note to self:  When the transcript has more “Megan” paragraphs than “Asha” paragraphs, you’ve gone off the tracks somewhere.

As it turns out, the Spring issue is focused on Mom Bloggers.  Right up your alley?  Subscribe today and the Spring issue (with my fingers-crossed gorgeous feature on Asha) should arrive at your doorstep within about a week.  Mom bloggers not your interest but mom writers more your thing?  Subscribe and enjoy a plethora of insightful interviews with the most talented mom writers publishing today.

Seriously, people, this is my first published piece.  My first “clip,” as it were.  The editors said they loved it, but I trust you, so check it out and tell me if I should throw in the towel and start writing snarky stories about the other moms in the pick-up line or not.  And if you do enjoy it, definitely drop Asha a line. 

I think I had her fooled into thinking I’d done this before, too.  Psych!

…  Suddenly I’m thinking that I no longer need an editor so much as I need a PR pro.  A spin doctor that would keep me from divulging my secrets and rather put a glossy spin on my mind-boggling writing skills.  Now then, let me try this again…

Grab your own subscription now and I’ll throw in a bonus!  Bring your Mom Writers Literary Magazine with my Asha Dornfest cover feature to BlogHer and I’ll autograph it for you!  Or, um, just sign Asha’s name.  Or explain why I asked her that question.  Or what I was thinking when I wrote that other thing.  Or give you a couple of bucks back because, hello, hack?  Whatever you want.

(I’m seriously just kidding about the autograph thing.  My ego is not that massive.)

Yeah, now hiring a PR specialist.  I just write the stuff.  I have no idea how to sell it.

In the meantime…  free stuff!

Leave a comment that bolsters my publisher and editors’ faith in mah mad writing skills (or really any comment) and I’ll randomly select 3 commenters to receive a copy of the Fall/ Winter 2008 issue featuring Melissa Stanton, former Senior Editor at People and LIFE magazines, author of The Stay-at-Home Survival Guide, and force behind both the MotherVerse Blog and Real Life Support for Moms.

I didn’t write anything in that issue but I’ll be happy to doodle on the cover, if you want.  (again, no haters, I’m kidding.)

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Perfec-she-yawn

Nothing like a slew of women in their twenties coming to peek in your life to make you feel, well, not in your twenties.

Welcome, vibrant new readers.  I am not Miss Musing.  I do not write about my beautiful piano room or my heroic boyfriend or my pink bicycle.  My life is not perfection.

Fortunately, for those of you that stick around, it appears that perfection can be wearing.

But it gets worse.

I don’t even post that often.  Period.  I own this baby, it doesn’t own me. 

So let’s just own it.  I’m a mom, at home, no longer living in a large city.  I live near the beach but no longer own a bikini.  I have stretch marks.  Because I have two toddlers.  And a new baby on the way. 

A new baby that I haven’t even written about because I am nauseous and tired.  Laissez les bon temp rouler!  No?

When I do post, it is rarely about controversy.  Instead, I’m usually pleading with women to stop worrying so much and to come out and play with us in real life, because seriously, it’s okay.  Reality bites but we don’t. 

For instance, are you going to BlogHer?  I see many of you have the BlogHer ad network on your much-updated blogs.  (Ahem, I did until they booted me for, um, poor update frequency.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.)  Well, I’m co-hosting a party the night before BlogHer.  It’s called The People’s Party and this is our third year (which we’ve only teased so far, but more details to come).  The goal?  To make women feel at ease while out from under the cover of their blogs.  Imagine that.

But that’s about as glamorous as I get.  I do publish and serve as the Editor-in-Chief of a successful (aw, shucks) online magazine called Blog Nosh Magazine, but that thing is currently run without shoes on and, were I updating it this morning, without a bra on, too.  Ya deal?

I am not in my twenties.  Haven’t been for a few years.  And when I was?  I spent all but one year of it with my would-be husband, not exactly gallivanting around with a martini in hand.  Chick, I don’t even own stilettos.   The last time I wrote about shoes was to demonstrate my own dichotomous personality that seems to straddle between punk rock and Florida retiree.

We might not have a lot in common.  Other than the dichotomies that define us.

But I write to you from the heart because I don’t know any other way.  And I embrace all that is me.  And you might be surprised what bits of yourself you find in me.

I write this to you from my backyard because today is too gorgeous to not inhale deeply.   Our roses are blooming.  I’ve been so busy, I hadn’t even noticed.

When I ran inside to grab my camera just so I could show you our modest accomplishment (if by accomplishment, you will accept that we simply didn’t touch them and therefore did not kill them), my two year old decided a romp outside suited him, as well.  You haven’t lived until you’ve dated a two year old.

While chasing him around, I caught wind of a smell from my childhood in Illinois.  Wandering around old properties, gathering Queen Anne’s Lace to take home and dye with food-coloring-spiked water.  This smell, the one in my own backyard, was the smell of my mother, stopping at the side of a rural road to gather and assure us we could taste.

Honeysuckle.

I didn’t even know we had honeysuckle in this yard.  But this morning, it is blooming.  And filling our yard with the warm scent of simpler days, superseding the rich layers of the bayou, so close to our home.

I live in Mississippi.  On the Gulf Coast.  Not in New York.

Perfection here comes covered in powdered sugar and doused in sweet tea.  Our fingers hint at crawfish boils enjoyed with friends and the air wafts by with a hint of Zydeco.

Yes, there’s a hurricane party every time it blows.

My musing comes in very different flavors than you might be used to, but there is room for you here at my table, sugar.

Ya’ll come back now.

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The one where I go Jack-Jack on Miss Musing.

Yeesh.  I had changed my mind about writing about this today, but a quick glance at my incoming traffic told me that hundreds of you are poking around by way of The Jet Set, apparently by way of cjane enjoy it.

What follows is my explanation, as briefly as I can (which will be something because, new readers, I don’t do brief very well), as to how an unknown-to-me blogger turned me into Jack Jack from The Incredibles this Saturday.

(hmmmm, short…  short…  succinct…  to the point…  do that how?…)

I know!  We’ll make it like a play!  Oh yeah, this will be fun.  Ditch the prose and we’re in action.

***

Aaaaannd…  Action!

(open on Saturday morning when I know better than to check my email…)

Megan:  at her computer opening email expectantly… Surely I’ll have heard from Matt Lauer today…

Megan’s email:  You’ve been PWNED!  (okay, I’m not even that cool and had to look the term up to make sure I was using it correctly.  I can’t even pretend.)

Megan:  Say what?

email from Onnuh:  You’ve been plagiarized by Miss Musing.  Here are her posts and here is your post that she stole.

Megan:  exhaling wearily because I get weird spam sometimes and so don’t bother to click the links

email from Azucar:  You’ve been plagiarized by Miss Musing.  Here are her posts and here is your post that she stole.

Megan:  Oh no she di’int!

Megan clicks on the links.  Megan falls out of her chair.

On the computer screen, the audience sees Miss Musing’s posts:

Megan frowns but thinks maybe it’s only a couple of lines… 

She opens the next post:

Megan switches tabs to her own post and turns bright red and possibly grows horns as she appears to morph into Jack Jack at the end of The Incredibles, fireball turned lead weight turned devil:

Megan:  Oh. no. she. did. not.

Aaaaaaand….  Scene!

***

That, folks, is not scraping.  That’s not copying and pasting a bit of text along with a link to the original work. 

That is plagiarism.

Miss Musing took what I wrote and turned it into two posts of her own.  Not as an inspiration, but literally took the actual words and fit them into her own post.  The second post, by the way, I am near positive she completely fabricated given the “plot” of my story of seeing a man in the coffee shop I thought I recognized, blah blah blah.

What is all the more infuriating is that she had over 500 subscribers.  Hundreds of followers on her Google Friend Connect.  Hundreds of twitter followers.  And none of her readers had any idea.

The comments!  You can read the comments for both posts in the full screengrabs by clicking on the appropriate cropped image above.  The comments really kill me.  Her readers simply had no idea.

Were you a reader of Miss Musing?  Do you feel duped?  You should.  And not just because she stole at least one post of mine.

She had done this before.  And was continuing to do it.

Long story short (you are laughing, aren’t you?), she had plagiarized cjane before and had been caught.  Azucar from The Jet Set wrote a post about the entire debacle (with possibly the most clever title ever), which inspired her incredibly resourceful readers to do a bit of sleuthing.  The Sherlock Award most certainly goes to Onnuh, who is the Jet Set reader that found the Miss Musing posts plagiarizing me and others. 

I think sweet Azucar and Onnuh thought I would give Miss Musing some kind of warning.  Perhaps I come off as someone that wouldn’t, say, turn into a vigilante and rally twitter against plagiarism?

Now that I think of it, if I’m like Jack-Jack (seemingly powerless, yet able to turn into a bedeviled fireball right before your eyes), then Miss Musing is like Syndrome:  Not a real superhero, nay blogger, but rather an insecure sidekick-wannabe replicating the powers of those around her.  Manufacturing them in such a way that her onlookers have no idea that it is all a rouse. 

Miss Musing’s remote control wrist cuff powers were her abilities to use “cut and paste.”

Until, that is, Jack-Jack went all devil on Syndrome’s ass, leading to the fake superhero’s ultimate demise.

Look, I’m not saying we are superheroes.  Bear with me here.  I’m trying to have a little fun and needed an excuse to use these photos…  which I stole from Google Images, which means I stole from somewhere else.  The difference is that I’m linking.  Giving credit.  Not claiming to have created these images and directing you to exactly where I found them.

That being said, we can not allow for plagiarism. 

In many cases, when I find my work on someone else’s site with no credit given, I simply give them a polite warning.  Often, it’s a naive new blogger and they honestly didn’t know better.  Sometimes it is a scraper (a site that simply copies posts based around a given keyword), but I still give them a warning before I report them to their blog host for removal.

This time, given that Miss Musing had not only been given warning on earlier plagiarism examples but was continuing her plagiarism against an increasing number of bloggers, I gave no warning.  I immediately reported her to Blogger and then spread the word on twitter.

Why twitter?  Because if she chose to simply delete the posts, nothing would stop her from continuing her stealing and her readers would never know. 

Simply deleting the posts and possibly apologizing wouldn’t be good enough this time, as her empty apology to cjane had clearly demonstrated that she had no intention of stopping. 

And let’s be honest, it is stealing.

So what did I want to happen as a result of my going Jack-Jack?  Ultimately, I wanted the posts removed, if not her blog, yes.  But more than anything else, I wanted her readers to know what she had done to them.  Girl had a lot of readers.  She had violated their trust and trust is just about all we have to work with online.

Aside from talent.  But who needs talent when you can cut and paste?!

So what did happen?  The details are unclear, but what I do have is a cliffhanger of an ending to our little play:

***

Enter Megan after a long Saturday at the Crawfish Festival and Family Fair with her family where she didn’t give a single thought to Miss Musing:

Megan opens her email.

Megan’s email:  Oh no you di’int!  Miss Musing is gone!  Her blog has been removed and her twitter account is deleted.

Megan’s twitter:

To which Megan responds:

Laptop closes.  The end.

***

Except that obviously, it isn’t the end.  We are left with all kinds of questions regarding how we can protect ourselves against the Miss Musing’s of the Internet.  And what is to stop her from doing it again on a new blog?  To you?

What this post was going to be about was just that:  How do we protect our work online?  But that brevity thing, I’ve apparently also gone Jack-Jack on that. 

So next time I write about this it will be about going Violet on our blogs and creating an invisible yet impenetrable-as we-can-make-it bubble around our work.

In the meantime, a huge thanks to The Jet Set and Onnuh for bringing this to my attention. 

And potential plagiarizers?  Maybe don’t mess with me.  Or my friends.  And apparently definitely not cjane because, wow, her readers really like her.

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