Have you ever felt an unexpected shift in the core of who you are? You are trucking right along and suddenly realize that something has changed?
Imperceptible shifts in your course, happening over time, until you abruptly find yourself in a different place than you planned. You find yourself a different person than you expected.
Perhaps this is simply growth. Perhaps this is simply growing up. Perhaps I'm simply losing my mind.
That last one was a joke. But I bet you smiled, because I bet you've been there.
I posted a quote from Patton Oswalt on Twitter a while back, taken from Lewis Black's The Root of All Evil on Comedy Central, in which Oswalt said regarding blogging:
"Bloggers are the root of all evil because they have reduced us to a first draft culture."
I thought that was actually funny (come on, it is!), but let me warn you, this is a first draft and one I plan to hit publish on as soon as I finish typing. It's one of those things that we might all feel, but rarely take the time to explore, so before I shake it off, I'm going to put it out there.
I blame this identity crisis on Facebook.
Yes, I say that tongue-in-cheek, but on some level it is true. Facebook has put me back in touch with high school and college friends I haven't heard about in years, laying all of their lives out in an orderly fashion, ripe for comparison.
Half of them have families and jobs and most of the same responsibilities that keep me from going out to a club every other night. The other half seem to be living virtually the same lives we lived in school, only with legal ID's and fewer grades.
It brings up so many personal questions that I don't generally allow myself to consider. Questions like, "Um, was it an option to keep partying?"
That is a simplification, but still.
For now, I'm just putting this feeling in front of you. I'll write more about it later. Later, being after I finish the relaunch of Blog Nosh Magazine, which is certainly artificially inflating my stress level and causing me to rub my own nerves raw.
But maybe it's also an opportunity to rattle those nerves a bit and see what shakes out. What sparks to the surface.
Want to frazzle some nerves with me? Ask some questions like, "Do I still want to drop it like it's hot?" or "Is it still an option to shake it like a Polaroid picture?"
Hell, let's just listen to some music:
(feed readers, if you can't see the music player, you are so missing out!)
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Writer. Mother.
