I am failing miserably at my long-term MakeOver Monday goal, via MoodSwingingMommy's blog carnival. A little over a month ago, I set a goal to "step back and release some of my control issues. Just let it be." Unfortunately, I forgot to outline just exactly how I planned to do that.
I think my thinking was that outlining a plan as to how to do it was yet another form of control, so I was trying a more holistic approach. Yeah, not working.
My control issue of choice right now seems to be intellectual property. Not in the strictly legal sense, but more in the "hey, that was my idea" sense. Over the last few months, I have been finding myself grumbling over people in my online circles and my offline life taking either full credit for ideas that I've shared with them, giving me half-assed credit for ideas that I've shared with them, incorrectly attributing credit for an idea that they altered so significantly that I wouldn't want credit, or flat out beating me to the punch on ideas that I thought were original ideas of my own but which were, in fact, not even close to being original.
How do you like that for control issues? I'm bitching about other people having my ideas first. Wow.
1,000 monkeys. 1,000 typewriters. And then there's me, standing over them screaming, "Hey, that was my idea!"
I deserve to have poop flung at me.
All of this is pointless. Or worse, it only hurts me.
In the cases where I've shared a concept with someone and didn't receive the credit I wanted (forget about "deserved" because that's beside the point and a matter of opinion), I almost always received some amount of attention for my own related project that I otherwise would not have received. Insert gratitude here.
I think all of this is called "sharing," but I'm so unfamiliar with that concept that I can't be sure.
Sharing and my control issues are closely tied. As I understand it (as though this, too, is a foreign concept), a true trail-blazer should be able to allow others to benefit from your ideas and your not feel the need to take credit in their success. If your team succeeds, you succeed. Right, got it, duly noted.
***The real b*tch of it is that I enjoy, take pride in, and want to help my friends. I am thrilled if I can do anything to help them succeed or be happier. I want the best for them, not to the exclusion of their being more successful and/or happier than I am. So what gives?***
It all boils down to self-actualization. I am not self-actualized and the way I see it, until I can participate in truly selfless acts of philanthropy, I'll never come close. In Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs, sometimes I think I'm just pulling it together at the Physiological level. That's basically breathing, eating, sleeping, and poopin' & fartin' (see, mommy blogger buddies! I squeezed in my second bodily function reference in a week! progress?). Then again, I usually can't even swing the "sleeping," so where does that put me?
Sharing and philanthropy. It's one and the same regarding this topic. My issues are the same. I can promise you that if I donated a million dollars to a charity, it wouldn't be anonymous. Or, if it was, I'd be walking around saying, "Hey, did you hear about my anonymous donation?" That's another Return to Me quote, by the way. Loving David Duchovny this month.
So, back to the drawing board on control issues. Step back. Let it be.
It's all about karma.
Damn, that doesn't work for aiming for self-actualization, either. I'd still be aware that my good deeds may somehow come back around and benefit me somehow, even as a grasshopper.
Want to participate in Makeover Monday? Here's what to do:
- Choose a goal. (It can be a new one each week or something more long-term.)
- Write a Makeover Monday post to share your goal for the week ahead. State whether or not you accomplished your goal from the previous week. It's okay to brag! If you are working towards a long-term goal, report on your progress.
- Link your Makeover Monday post in my comments and/or in MoodSwingingMommy's Mister Linky.
- Spread the good karma by visiting other Makeover Monday participants to encourage and congratulate them on their own makeovers.
- Feel the love coming right back at you!
Don't let Monday be a downer!
Start your week off right by celebrating your accomplishments and those of fellow bloggers.
Other Makeover Mondays participants:
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